Talk That Transforms with Kim Davis

The other day, my counselor and I were talking about something that stopped me in my tracks—the very thing I’ve been running from is the very thing God called me to serve.

People.

Please pray for me as I even write this, because when I opened my mouth and said out loud why I don’t want the thing He created me for, my body reacted before my mind could catch up. I almost passed out. The thought of it literally took the breath out of me. My breathing changed. My chest tightened. It felt like it was caving in. And all I could say was:

“I don’t want it.”

I told her I would rather stay stuck than serve people again—because serving people hurts. The pain you endure while loving, leading, and showing up for others costs something. It costs your heart. Your expectations. Sometimes your peace.

And the irony?

I can’t escape it.

Everything connected to me serves people. My businesses serve people. My ideas serve people. My mind, my voice, my presence—it’s in me. No matter how hard I try to run from it, service keeps finding me.

So how do you keep showing up for something that fails you, hurts you, and disappoints you over and over again?

That’s the question I’ve been sitting with.

I’m giving myself permission to remember—
when I was the victim and when I was the villain.
And I’m choosing to be neither.

Because the truth is… I have been hurt.
And I have hurt people too.

Healing, for me, doesn’t look like pretending one isn’t true. It looks like holding both truths and still choosing obedience. Still choosing growth. Still choosing God.

So I’m going to try to walk this thing out and see what it produces. Not because I’m fearless. Not because I have it all figured out. But because I can’t keep asking why I wasn’t made a goat when deep down I know—

God created me for greater.

And maybe the very thing I feared would destroy me
is the thing He plans to use to grow me.

— Talk That Transforms with Kim Davis