Talk That Transforms with Kim Davis

I have gotten out of character so many times trying to defend myself against lies people have told about me. I have spent too much time trying to clear my name with people who had already decided to believe what they were told. Today, I finally realized how pointless that truly is.

It bothers me because I am a person who stands on the truth—even when the truth hurts or causes a relationship to end. I truly believe there is healing in truth.

Growing up, I used to lie to my aunt because I was afraid of what she might do to me. But when I finally faced that fear, I made a promise to myself: no more lying. Even if telling the truth hurts me or costs me something, I will still choose the truth. That decision became part of who I am, which is why being lied on cuts so deeply.

Then there is another kind of hurt—the people who hear the lie and immediately run with it. Sometimes I want to ask, “Were you just waiting for someone to say something about me, or are you simply being messy?” It is painful to discover that some people never needed proof because they were already prepared to believe the worst.

But maybe this is how God is allowing me to see people for who they truly are. Not so I can become bitter, but so I can learn to love and forgive them—because sometimes they truly do not understand the damage they are causing.

I have been here before, and I know it probably will not be the last time. Some people have returned and admitted they were wrong. Others have returned pretending nothing ever happened. But I am learning that I do not need every apology, explanation, or confession to move forward.

I can love people and do right by them even when they have not done right by me. I can forgive without giving everyone the same access to my life. I can protect my peace without becoming cold. Most importantly, I can stop exhausting myself trying to prove my heart to people who are committed to misunderstanding me.

The truth does not need me to lose myself while defending it. God knows who I am. He knows what happened, what was said, and what is true. That has to be enough for me.

So, I am releasing the need to clear my name in every room. I am choosing peace over proving, character over chaos, and healing over constantly defending myself.

People may repeat the lie, but I will continue living the truth. In time, my character will speak for itself.

— Talk That Transforms with Kim Davis 💛